I'd Smash Her Back Doors In

I have been absolutely horrified recently by the huge number of people making light of sexual violence. The worst part is, most of them don't realise they are doing it.

"If I got a hold of her, she would be walking funny for a week", "I'd smash her back doors in", "I'd destroy her".

How, how, can this be allowed to happen? Those phrases must be some of the most misogynistic words to ever have been allowed out of a person's mouth.


Firstly, these phrases are making a joke out of sexual violence. Words like 'smash' and 'destroy' are so overtly violent that nobody could deny it. What - hopefully - people who say these phrases don't realise is that they are saying they want to cause a huge amount of horrible pain to the person they are discussing.


Secondly, they are a clear and horrible example of objectifying women. The girl to whom these phrases refer clearly has no say in the matter whatsoever. She is barely a person. She is an inanimate object to treat as you want.


I am not pretending for one minute that every person who uses these phrases wants to rape, cause pain to or gain glory from hurting the girl they are talking about. The worst thing about them, in fact, is that they appear to have been absorbed into every day speech so easily that people do not even hesitate to think what they are saying. The problem is, younger people try to grab sexual advice from any source possible. Young boys watch porn, men apparently attempting to remove the girls nipple with his mouth, and think; huh, it's different to Sex and the City but the girl looks like she's enjoying it! I am sure nobody will hear 'I'd destroy her' and think they are supposed to physically destroy the girl through sex, but it is without a doubt encouraging aggressive sex which does not take into account the wants, needs or desires of a girl whatsoever.


I am sure the majority of people who read this will think I am being over the top. If you do, please stop for a second and really think about those phrases. It is bad enough that people genuinely talk and joke about girls like this; like they are an object to be grabbed and had their way with. What is worse, is what the phrases actually mean;


"See that girl there? I want to grab her, take her home and have sex with her so violently that she is physically hurt and I don't care whether she wants it or not."


I read about a girl - a 100% true, verified story - who went home with a boy to have consensual sex. He was so rough with her, she ended up with internal bleeding. She felt she could not tell him to stop, because she had consented. This is what people are making jokes about by using the above phrases.



I implore you;
If you say any of this type of phrase, please stop.
If you hear anyone using this type of phrase, challenge them.


I do not condemn all sexist humour; there are just as many jokes about men not being able to multitask as there are about women in the kitchen. But jokes which make light of sexual violence and rape are simply not acceptable.